I Can't Pay My Credit Cards
- Speak Up La
- Jun 12, 2020
- 3 min read
November 2017, I looked at what I had in my bank account, and what minimum payment amounts I owed…and I had nothing to give towards payments anymore. I had finally hit a wall. I could not finesse…I was done!
How could this happen??? I work every day and work hard too, but here I am with an AMEX bill for $1,000+ that I cannot afford to pay nor any other minimums. I had no one I could go to that I could ask for the money - well let me say I had people I could have gone to, but I was way too embarrassed and ashamed to ask for that type of assistance.
During this period in my life - there was A LOT going on - the big one was my Dad being sick, really sick (near death experience sick). As much as I would like to say that the situation with my Dad was the reason for my debt, that was not true… there were a couple of factors (i.e. depression), but the BIG factor was due to my poor spending habits.
To add minimal background, I had at least 10 credit cards… and ALL but one was MAXED out!.
To this day I am haunted with a saying one of my professors said when I was getting my MBA - "You know the people who struggle the most with their finances are people with Finance degrees because they believe they know it all." Who knows if he was joking or if it was true, but here I am… 6+ years into my career and I am a complete failure in my finances.
Ish finally hit the fan.
As each month went on not being able to pay and seeing my credit score drop consistently, I started to feel like a complete failure. I kept telling myself “I should have been smarter than this. I shouldn’t be in this place.” I can honestly admit I had very dark thoughts that I will reflect on later in future posts.
As hard as this situation was, I have learned a lot about myself and gained some nuggets along the way:
You are NOT a failure.
Let’s just not use this word anymore in relation to finances. Think when we are coming up in school – who REALLY taught us how to manage money…no one. If you did, you are definitely one of the lucky ones. As a Finance major I learned how to manage a Corporation’s budget but not mine?!?! Time to change that.
Your credit does not define you.
Yes, it is a tool used to approve your purchases for such things as cars and homes – but it does not define who you are. Are you helpful? Do you have a good heart? Do you want to change the world? Those are things that define you. Yes, credit is important but do not let that score make you feel less than because you are not.
Own Your Right Now.
As hard as it is, you have to get a clear understanding of what debt you have outstanding, and work to make an action plan. If you don’t know, you can’t make any changes.I have been working within my resetfor a while now and I still have about 2 years until I am completely out of this hole. Own it. This is just a phase – you will get out of it.
Make a Plan.
Write out your current state and start making a plan. If you know of any good & respected Financial Advisors seek them out or utilize free FB groups (i.e. Dream Catchers) that will teach you how to be better in your financial journey.
And lastly….
It can happen to anyone.
In the past months, I have talked with people about some of my financial challenges, and to my surprise I realized that I am NOT ALONE. There are more people that I have met that have had financial hurdles than not. And the big motivator I have found is they are not in the financial challenges anymore.
So, if nothing else I am owning my truth – I am in debt. So what??? Does it change the amazing person I am or impact the gifts I will give to this world?!?!? Absolutely not!
**June 2020 update** I have paid off $36K in debt!! I am still working to become completely debt free but I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel. Even when it is super dark due to credit card debt. Keep pushing!
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