$1.98 in my bank account

“A dollar who?” “A dollar what?” I honestly thought I had logged into the wrong bank account.

It was the day before pay day and I went to check my account to see how much buffer I had until my next direct deposit, and oh behold my bank screen showed $1.98. I definitely said some ‘unpleasantries’ in my head. I was in absolute shock!

I thought it was a joke. “How did I have less than $2 in my account?” “How have I spent my entire paycheck?” “What the hell was I doing this past month?”

I scroll through my account and it was just wasteful spending, Starbucks, dinners, happy hour and Amazon Prime. I was just spending and not even looking to see if I had money in my account. #swipeaddict I had never in my life gotten this low in my account. I usually went into each month with $200-$300 remaining.

A typical activity in my office building every morning was to go down and get a cup of coffee which cost $2.01, I didn’t have enough money for a freaking cup of coffee! But in not wanting to break the tradition and spend that lovely 5 minutes with my friends, I tore up my desk and purse to find enough money to go downstairs. I found just enough, a mixture of a dollar bill and a $1.25 in quarters.

When I went down to get my coffee, surprisingly one of my friends randomly treated me for coffee. So thankful, I pocketed my money and vowed to myself that I was going to get better with my spending moving forward. I did not.

The big question in this situation to me was, why did I feel I could not tell my friend: “No, I cannot come downstairs today.” Think I would have saved myself the stress and anxiety to find $2.01. Besides, if I needed that bad coffee, we have free coffee on every floor, it doesn’t taste as good but, nonetheless it was there as an option.

I truly cherish all of my friendships and love interacting with them, but that love of interaction be it dinner, happy hour or a simple cup of coffee with them was costing me dearly. And the thing was, all my friends were not at everything, but I felt I had to be everything to show I was a good friend. I had a true issue with saying the word ‘No’.

No is one of the most powerful words in the dictionary; but I always feel afraid to use it.

Over the past couple years, I have been working to get more comfortable using the word ‘No’. “Can you come out tonight?” – No, “Want to go to Happy Hour?” – No, “International Trip?” – No. And I have been very honest as of late too, ‘No that doesn’t fit into my budget right now’. And it’s a simple statement and no further discussion I have found comes from it.

By using that one word, I feel freer and more confident in my decisions in life especially when it comes to money. I had to take a hard look at what was helping me/hurting me in my day-to-day life and the notion to always try to ‘keep up with the Joneses’ was too much for me and ultimately a false reality. For a long- time I had an absolute fear of telling people No in fear that they wouldn’t like me, be disappointed or just mad, even it cost my financial well being.

I challenge you today to start using the word ‘No’ more freely. Do not continue to do things that do not truly benefit you and/or ultimately leave you with financial constraints. What you spend, how you spend, isn’t the definition or dictator on who you are as a person. And if someone is making you feel that way, get them out of your circle!

If I had only started saying ‘No’ more freely, I probably wouldn’t be in the space I am today, but everything happens for a reason. It takes a while to recognize a problem you may have, but it takes even more time and courage to get the strength to accept it and change for the better.

Seeing $1.98 in my account was just one of the many wake-up calls I had that life showed me in saying “It is time to change”. But the way life typically goes, things must get worse before you change for the better. More to come!

P.S. - I have for the most part eliminated my traditional coffee run and bring my own in to brew at my desk, which personally tastes better than the downstairs coffee! #coffeeaddict

#adollarwho #adollarwhat #ownyourtruth #speakupla #swipeaddict #coffeeaddict #changeforthebetter